6/20/13

Real-Life Gag Reel

I wish I could have a gag reel of all the dumb things I do. I like laughing at myself more than anyone else…does that make me narcissistic or “special” or both?  As they say in Tropic Thunder, “Never go full retard.” I respond back to myself with a quote from Pride and Prejudice, “Sir, I think it is too late.”

I have these days when nothing will stay in my hands. The laws of gravity seem to mock me, as I walk across the street with my boyfriend and show him my planner. When I open it, it jumps out of my small hands and I make an “ACHHHH” noise like a strangled cat. But, I have the reflexes of one, too, as I catch it midair before it falls. The look that passes between us is “whoah” and what noise just came out of your throat?

 We continue on our walk and enter the Houston Tunnel System specifically the One Allen Center.  I see my boss walking towards me with another coworker, and I wave to them with the hand that holds my blue dum-dum lollipop.  The lollipop flings out of my hand and into the air in front of them landing and shattering to pieces on the floor. 
“That lollipop committed suicide!” My coworker exclaims and all I can do is laugh like a crazed, embarrassed lunatic. Did I do that??? *snoooort*

So…the last thing on my gag reel would be getting into my car at the end of the day with my boyfriend in the passenger seat.  I have been listening to Shakira’s “La Tortura” ad nauseum, and I told him that I choreographed it in my head.  So, I start shimmying and reliving some of my old belly dancing moves, while we are in back-to-back Houston traffic.  I start to really get into it, and I’m moving my hands to the left and turning my head and switching with my hands to the right, and then shimmy shimmy there and then tiny little car hip gyrations. As I dance back to the left, a white truck slowly rolls forward and a guy has a smile frozen on his face with his camera phone out pointing right at me.  We absolutely die laughing.

 

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